Grace like the ocean

We are currently on a family holiday in Cornwall just North of Bude. Yesterday we took a half mile trip to Northcott Mouth which is just down from the farmhouse that we are staying in.


The beach there is very rocky and my nieces and nephews and I started to build a small wall against the sea gathering the rocks from near and far!

It was hilarious to see some of them carrying large rocks to add to the wall, some too heavy for them to lift! The tide was coming in quickly and no matter how large the stones it didn't stop the sea coming and it reminded me of God's grace upon us - it doesn't end, it doesn't reach a certain point and say that it would cease and that it would come to the point where it would just fail. No way! Legalism can try and stop God's grace - it can stifle and try to stop it but in the grand scheme of things - legalism is as effective as the stone wall my nieces and nephews built against the ocean against God's lavish grace!! Struggling with what I mean......? Let me put it another way then:- Whether or not folks receive it or live in the fullness of it - it just keeps coming! We are saved by grace and if folks are under legalism they are still saved by grace alone - Scripture says that any that call on the name of the Lord WILL BE saved. It doesn't say any that call on the name of the Lord may be saved but it is all dependent on whether they do this or this or this! Even in all the legalism that is rife in the Church and in the people of God today the Lord is still a God of grace - a grace that allows us to be imperfect, a grace that covers all our shame, our sin, our mistakes - past, present and future. God's grace is an undeniable part of being saved!

I am currently reading God's lavish grace by Terry Virgo and I read this earlier today:-

You may wonder what you have done to deserve God's love. How is it that God has shown you such kindness? This is the very stuff of grace, that He amazes you, contradicts every expectation, seeks you out, finds you and lavishes His love upon you. You have done nothing and can do nothing to earn His grace. The secret of His grace to you lies deep in the mystery of His foreknowledge. Simply receive it, celebrate it, delight yourself in it and live as one whom God is pleased to favour from His overflowing resources of kindness. (Page 87).

I have been struck afresh today of the magnitude of God's grace - people don't understand grace because we try and equate it - we try to work it out - we try to make it make sense but it doesn't - the awesome One, the Creator of this Universe has a love that stoops down, stoops to the sinner and lavishes, floods the undeserving with acceptance, with love, covers the sinner with robes of righteousness, spotless and no matter the mistakes in the future will remain spotless - not because of the sinner but because the Lamb of God was acceptable, because the blood of Jesus goes on cleansing and the blood of Jesus will never loose its power - Jesus was a complete sacrifice - He satisfied the requirements, we are saved because of that one sacrifice.

This morning we went to Bude Christian Fellowship http://www.bcf-elim.com/ and it was an awesome time of celebrating that Jesus is reason and alive right now! The pastor mentioned Spike Milligan's quote on his grave stone that says:-

"I told you I was ill."

and then later in the message was saying that if there was an inscription on Jesus' grave it should have said

"I told you that I was coming back."

It was a great celebration this morning and I bless God for what He has done and am anticipating and expecting some wonderful things in the future days! J.I. Packer once said that

"The victim of Calvary is now...............loose and a large!"

Yes indeed He is loose, at large and will do some mighty things in the coming days - feel expectation rising!?!?

Standing firm on the truth in the battle

Since late Sunday night - there has been a battle! The weekend was glorious but I have found myself increasingly under 'enemy fire' - I was telling my husband this morning that I think that the enemy wants to knock me back down again.

But I have remembered something from an awesome sermon that Peter Day
http://www.peterjrday.blogspot.com/ preached on Sunday night - I would really encourage folks to listen to this! It is available from the following link for the 16th March and entitled 'Perseverance' - you will find it really helpful I am sure!
http://lans.strikinglysimple.co.uk/4wright.php?chinnor=Sermons/Talks&chosen=http://lansaudio.64asa.co.uk/uploads/peter16march2008pm.mp3&hook=off&marshall=&harper=1410&laura=15&bounce=no Anyway! The thing that I remembered is when he said something along the lines of

'don't let disappointment and the battle rob you of what you do know to be true.'

In other words when the going gets tough and the enemy comes in like a flood don't forget what you know to be true, what the Lord says in His Word, who He is like, what He has done.

Was reminded this morning in the face of the pelting to remind myself that He hasn't altered - He is the same God who came and touched my heart and melted me with His love over this weekend, He is the same God who reigns on high, who is exalted, who is King of Kings, totally majestic, awesome in power and mighty to save and to the pulling down of strongholds - He is the same God who is singing over me on a week day as He was over the weekend, He is the creator, sustainer and saviour of this World. He alone has made the way for me to be cleansed, healed, restored and forgiven - He is good and He is faithful and that will not alter or change - and right now I choose to stand firm in the battle on the truth!

Our response to God singing over us!

This morning Ken Vincent preached at Lansdowne - the sermon should be on the website fairly soon. There was a gem of a revelation scattered amongst other various gems and it was this!

In light of the last line of Zephaniah 3:17 which says:-

"He will rejoice over you with singing"

Ken said this:-

"If God is singing over you, shouldn't you be singing over Him?"

He went on to say about how our God is a happy God - it is worth hearing what Ken said - I can't do it justice!

Desperation for God - noone else will satisfy!

First thing this morning I was praying in the shower knowing that I was going to a women's breakfast that was going to be on the Holy Spirit, my prayer was really a cry to God that I would encounter Him afresh - I guess that you could say a desperation that I needed to know that God knew various situations, struggles, that He would meet me despite all the things that get in the way, despite how I felt, despite despair, despite my feeling of total inadequacy (in want of a better word) - I really NEEDED to meet with God today.

It wasn't the best of starts to a meeting with all the women there around 30 years older than me and I texted my husband saying please pray! Fortunately others arrived and my ill-ease put to flight! The teaching was just so helpful about being women of the Spirit and I realised afresh how vital it is that I am full of God's Holy Spirit - not only for my own walk with God, but my encouragement of others, my heart for the lost........my worship.......giftings from God.........etc etc - I could go on. I guess that you could say I could see that I wasn't filled to overflowing with the Holy Spirit - more nearer the red E like the one that shows on your petrol dial! I have been more concerned with managing to scrape through, to be everything that I am 'supposed' to be and to do everything I am supposed to do that I hadn't actually realised how I was running on empty!

But you know God already knew - and He knew that I need a major encounter with Him - all the 'stuff' of life, all the heartache, all the struggles, all the daily battles, temptations, even at times depression and heaviness seemed to have squeezed out how much I needed God! It wasn't 'fine' for me to leave the Church this morning without an enounter with God, without pressing through to Him - it really wasn't fine - but I had to step out of my comfort zone and actually admit that I needed prayer and I have to tell you that this morning I had to learn a difficult, painful (for me) but yet vital lesson - it's ok to ask for prayer. My gut instinct is to always assume that asking someone to pray is like saying 'hey I am not doing so good, I have failed again, not coping, not this, not that, I don't meet the grade blah blah blah blah, here I am yet again.' But this morning someone said to me it would be ok if I asked for prayer every single meeting, every single week or whenever and having thought about that today although it goes against everything that I have been taught as a child and even seen in the Christian world - I realised today how much my priorities need to change - hear me out for a second! It shouldn't be about what others think, it shouldn't even be about me - it's about God, about His precious Holy Spirit - I want Him to get all the glory! I need to put encountering Him far above all the stuff of this World. And as we have often heard that quote:-

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied with Him."

But here is a question - are we ever really satisfied with Him!? This morning I tasted precious fresh filling of the Holy Spirit, He just washed right over me, through me - all the struggles, even the heartache was pailed into insignifcance for an hour or so when I was just caught up with loving Him and being loved by Him. Ah yes I was totally satisfied with Him, but not to the point of 'having my fill' do you know what I mean? Spurgeon uses the word 'cloy' in relation to the love of God - a love that will not cloy.

The definition of cloy is this:-

To cause distaste or disgust by supplying with too much of something originally pleasant, especially something rich or sweet;

We will never get to the point where something so wonderful will end up being distasteful when it comes to God, it won't be like when you eat too much chocolate - initially fantastic but eat too much and you feel sick - no with God you will taste and keep tasting and keep desiring and want more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and .............................(catch my drift!)

The song of the moment, of the day - has to be this song!

I wonder if we really are that desperate for Him - I know that for me this evening having met with Him today I am desperate for Him all over again! I want to be like those folks in the Bible who had the tenacity and the courage and the perseveance to keep going for Him - to not let Him go until He blesses (sound familiar) to be like the woman with the issue of blood who in that society should not have been around, classed as untouchable and yet she pushed through the crowds just to touch the hem of His garment, for all those saints that have in years passed kept on keeping on - I want to take encouragement and to keep pushing through, to hold Him at His Word, to see Him touch my life and the lives of those around me, to not cower under the weight of past disappointment or be crushed by ungodly expectations that others put on me (or even that I put on myself) -

I have tasted again of how wonderful the Lord is - I want Him, I need Him, I long for Him, I desire to be in His presence, I yearn for Him with every fibre of my being, I cry out for Him - no other will do, no one else will satisfy, this World can offer me nothing in the light of how awesome He is. All that is within me cries out 'more Lord' more of You in my life, more of You in my home, in my street, in Your Church Lord, more - oh Lord for an increase in my expectation of what You will do for You alone are the All-mighty God, the all powerful King of the Universe, no one else is as majestic as You are - nothing is as glorious as You - increase my vision of you! The cry of my heart hand in hand with the desperation for Him is a simple word and that is knowing that He is a God who is swift to bless the seeker, who loves the hungry, who delights in those who seek after Himself - ah yes Lord please...

......MORE!

More aware of grace or sin?

I have been doing a lot of reading lately on grace - am reading God's Lavish Grace by Terry Virgo and finding it a really helpful read although I must confess that I keep on reading bits again and again trying to get them from my head to my heart.

Was challenged also by CJ Mahaney when he asks the poignant question - day to day are you more aware of grace or more aware of sin!?

This is a challenge when your background is rooted in rules and regulations! I pray that each day I would be more and more aware of the grace of God!

Well I think I may have worked out how to get a You tube video into a post - so here goes! This song is one to play when the tears won't stay in any longer!

Highs and Lows of one single solitary day!

Today has been a day of highs and lows. Sundays are precious, busy, stressful and yet wonderful in so many ways! Most will know what I mean by that - but today has been one of truly awesome highs, moments of stress, times of exhaustion, precious times with God and then real depths - all in one single day!
As I start this it is nearly 11.30pm - for a 'school night' this is so late for me but I can't sleep and have spent the last few hours crying (yet again!) So what about today then?

This morning was a precious time of worship - it started in the Word this morning when I was in Kings and reading about the whole Hezekiah thing when the enemies were saying to the people of the Lord, that God wouldn't save them and that they were going to lose blah blah etc etc and then God did something outside of the 'human plan or concept of what could happen' and sent the angel of the Lord who killed like 185,000 people in one night or something like that (2 Kings 18 & 19) - I was struck again how God is not bound by what people say, think or expect. Then after my time in the Word I had a shower and I don't know if I am like anyone else but my most intimate times of worship in song are in the shower! This morning I sung the same song over and over normally I will jump from song to song as I praise but this morning it was the same song 'Jesus, Jesus, Holy and Anointed One' - the chorus goes on to say 'Your name is like honey on my lips, your Spirit like water to my soul.........' there was more than physical water this morning and I felt a precious touch from God as I worshipped! Then at Church before the praise team practised and as we prayed together again I felt such a touch from God, then as we went through the songs for the morning I just felt God was so close, then in the worship - WOW! The Holy Spirit came and there was such an outpouring - different folks prayed stuff out that was just SO spot on.

Then I was with the children so missed the sermon - it was really stressful!!!! Some of the children are just so out of control and I found it so hard because they are so lovely and each one so special, one in the group is the sort of age that our child would be if ..... well you know. Anyway it was REALLY tough going and come the end of the service I was just SO relieved but had to dash to check my hubby was ok with serving tea and then needed to sort music etc etc. To my relief I got in the car and turned on some sounds! Got home had lunch, watched some rugby - Malcolm had a headache so at half time went to bed and I watched the second half in bed as he slept - France won, then I fell asleep - woke at 6.20pm with a start and shoved on some clothes brushed hair and dashed to Church leaving a dazed hubby with headache in bed. I really wanted to be there tonight - felt this morning I missed out not hearing the Word preached. Tonight I was reminded in the worship of how mighty God is and that too often I don't seem Him as All-mighty and All-powerful - I need a bigger vision of God - was encouraged in the brief worship that I was there for, then the preached Word was awesome - Psalm 23 and just the single line 'The Lord is my shepherd'. The Lansdowne website should have it up soon http://lans.strikinglysimple.co.uk/4wright.php?chinnor=Sermons/Talks&harper=1448&laura=15&emphas=&preview=&bounce=no if you want to hear it.
Anyway got in the car to come home dropping a couple of people at different places on the way home, got out of the car and spoke to a lovely couple from the street - they are moving soon so want to get them round for a meal before they go although they will only be moving locally I think - note to self remember to sort a date with them! I hardly know them and he recently had a stroke (reason for move) but it was a timely conversation. Walked in the door - got a headache and just felt real turmoil no peace at all - told Malcolm.
Headed to bed at 10.15ish. Mal and I prayed together and unusually I felt that I should pray again about having kids - I don't do this as often as perhaps I should because it upsets me so much and afterwards I just cried and cried - there are simply no words this evening to describe how much I hurt (pause to reach for another tissue........) Malcolm said that he thought I needed to cry - he sees it before I do now I think. I am not even sure how to pray anymore in some senses, all I know is that the ache is so real and I don't see any end to it. Last Wednesday I had a picture or a dream - whatever you might call it, eventually tonight I shared it with Malcolm I won't post here what it was as that isn't appropriate but I must admit things are hard. I tossed and turned in bed almost crying at every turn - trying not to wake my exhausted husband and eventually have given in and got up!

What changed today I wonder - it started precious, it had tough moments, it even ended precious but this evening I feel afresh despair and hurt; but yet God is still my shepherd - I am His and He is mine - I heard it today, I know it but at the same time there is an ache and a void that I carry at the same time. I even asked myself if it is possible to feel despair and yet trust God at the same time and honestly I have to answer 'yes' - does that sound crazy to all the theologians>!>?!?!? Don't get me wrong I trust God 100%, I love Him, I accept all the wonderful things that He says but at the same time there is an ache that doesn't know healing and a pain that few can grasp. The battle now is to take the tears and not ignore them but to pour them out as an offering as sacrifical worship - in the midst of the tears to look to God and say 'I love you anyway' and to hear His reply of 'I love you anyway' - it goes both ways as I was reminded by the preacher this evening.

There are questions rattling around my brain tonight and some of them I need to ask and find answers to, others I need to have courage to lay down and to leave at the foot of the cross. Perhaps the highs and lows of today have been from one extreme to the other but I must not forget that my God is mighty, that He (and only He) is the giver of life, that He is bigger than my pain and that He has stored my tears - which feel more like a river rather than something that can ever be bottled tonight.

I am reminded of that Tim Hughes song:-
(Not sure if this will work as I haven't worked out how to incorporate a You Tube into a post)

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=tEAK_acTbsQ

If it doesn't work go to youtube and search on Tim Hughes and click on 'when silence falls'

I must head to bed now as I have a full on day at work tomorrow but in returning to bed I will remember that the Lord God Almighty is my friend and on my side even in the depths of tonight. I will also ask Him to be my strength, my peace, my tower of refuge and strength but have to admit that it all still hurts!