Sunday, 3 February 2013

Addiction and Goodness

Recently it has felt a bit like my husband and I are encountering a mini revival with a hunger after God that we haven't known for a number of years.  It is like, as a friend of ours put it, we have been hibernating and we are awakening and everything now feels fresh, exciting and awesome.  During this period of hibernation I think it would be safe to say that there has been an element of screen addiction.  Trying to take up our thinking with other things either computer, TV etc etc so that we would not have to think about the tough stuff we were encountering.  This morning I really felt that God was telling me that we are moving from screen addiction to Saviour addiction! The longing for more of God, the heart aching for a fresh touch, for a new encounter, for a moment of knowing His nearness. 

This morning Nick Davis preached a powerful message at Southlands Church - it rung such a chord in my heart so much of what he preached echoed true with my experience and my heart.  I was so blessed.  But the prevailing thought that I have come away with is this cry for God to help me on my bad days, on the worst of days to let the goodness of God to be my song, my delight.  That I might be consumed by the truth of His goodness rather than the trial, situation or experience I am in!  God's goodness is not dependent on my situation, experience, emotions, circumstance.  He is good ALL the time whether I feel it or not, whether I am happy or sad.  Oh God give me the strength to declare your goodness whatever.  Whatever I may be going through, highs or lows, good or bad times, joyful or grieving, soaring or struggling - oh God help me to sing of your goodness in the night..........

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Making The Choice

Today marks two years since we lost another child.  It's a strange thing to think about - days like this conger up all kinds of emotions: grief, sorrow, 'what ifs', a deep ache and a whole mix of emotions.  Having been through a form of depression I know that today has potential to send me downwards.  Malcolm and I have talked about this, we have the day off to be together after someone suggested that these 'anniversaries' could be a place to positively acknowledge our loss and to actually think positively that our little ones are safe with Jesus.  Even though we are working hard to make this positive it isn't easy so this morning the challenge is to make the choice - to hold on to God.  To hold on to Him being the Lifter of our heads, calling to mind His faithfulness and promises.  Looking to Him and Him alone.  So today is a choice to either look at our empty hands, of who we are not able to hold today or to look at the great 'Who' that we do have and all that He gives us and means to us.......

Monday, 14 January 2013

Fresh Start

In January 2010 it felt like my life crumbled to pieces!  Two years on and we really have been on a journey.  The term 'journey' is overused by reality shows etc etc but it is the only way to describe what has happened to us.  To cut a VERY long story short we have in the past year moved house, area and Church as a direct result of feeling that God was telling us that it was time for a fresh start.  Time to have some space to heal and space to rest where home would be a pleasant place to refresh.  God has led and blessed us.  From a wide search area he led us to a town in Surrey called Horley.  Throughout our move we have prayed 'Lord please lead us to the right Church' - we had a handful of things we were looking for in a new Church - somewhere that would take us as were, a grace Church, somewhere where we met with God, somewhere where noone knew us - thus having no expectations of what we would do or what we should be like - taking us at face value!  We also wanted somewhere that be willing to let us 'just be' for a while - we knew that God had clearly been telling us that we needed time and space to heal. Pratically we also wanted somewhere local so we could walk if necessary and a hope that others from the Church would also be local!  We found such a Church in Southlands

Since our move it feels like a fresh page and God is once again speaking to us.  I hope in weeks and months to come to share a bit more about the journey of the last two years and to share our continuing journey of learning about God's grace!