Monday, 27 October 2008

How quickly your day can change!

On Friday we were travelling North to see my family and to celebrate with my Nan as she is 90 on Monday - Friday night we were to have a family meal early in the evening and Saturday saw a social gathering where 90-100 people showed up to wish her a happy birthday. All in all a good time was in store - my Nan is a wonderful woman who was saved and baptised at 83 and whose baptismal service is so memorable!

Anyway back to Friday! We had decided the M25 would be a good route but when we found most of it stationary we headed off and I did my map reading through the countryside so that we kept moving. Out for a meal at 6 and knowing that I really wanted a shower and to iron my husbands shirt before we went out plus bad traffic made us eager to get there! We came to a junction on a road - the car two in front stopped to turn right, the van in front of us stopped, we stopped but the van behind us didn't and without warning suddenly my day changed. The impact flung us forward, the bar under my chair went into my ankle, the van behind embedded into the back of our car. It wasn't a fair fight - he was bigger, he was moving......

When we arrived at my Mum's I said to her that I could not believe how quickly our day had changed - one moment all was well the next I was just grateful that other vehicles, signposts, ditches had all been avoided, grateful that I was alive and so was my husband - sounds melo-dramatic but it's true!

Malcolm is running an Alpha Course at the moment at the Church with a wonderful team of people - we always wonder at the beginningof the course what is going to happen - usually something happens that disruptes our lives, takes our attention or seems to take us out of action - but this is an all time classic doing all at once! Our car will probably be written off - time will be needed to deal with insurance and organise courtesy cars while it is looked at, both us have whiplash and sleep doesn't come comfortably, we need to look into getting a new car and this will take time and money - everything changed in those few seconds. I know that God is bigger than all of this - when we purchased our car which came out a huge blessing from someone the guy in the garage described what we needed as a 'miracle car' and on Friday it lived up to its name and miraculously we were not hurt more than we were. My husband tells me it is though God had said 'so far but no further' to the enemy. God had His hand of protection upon us of that I remain convinced!

Friday, 17 October 2008

Jesus went that far for me.......

Ever been locked out?
This morning we shut the door to our house, looked at one another and realised that between us we had a car key but no house key - I rummaged through my bag desperate to find the house keys to no avail. Fortunately we have had some work done on our bathroom and we knew that we could get a key from our builder - but not until several hours later!
What was strange is that we still owned the property, it still belonged to us but for those hours we couldn't get access! It felt weird - we didn't need to go home as we were at work but if we had of needed to or wanted to we couldn't!
Sometimes I feel like that with my relationship with God - He is there, I still belong to Him, there is no question that He is Lord of my life but I feel like I am 'locked out' unable to break through and enter in to all the things that He has for me.
This week I have been reading more sermons by Smith Wigglesworth and he really is straight down the line - he calls a spade, a spade but I can't quite grasp that if the Bible says things then why doesn't God seem to do what we think His word is saying, why is it that at times I feel locked out - like the blessing is not for me.

This afternoon my husband and I sat and watched two DVD sessions by Louie Giglio on Hope and where is God when life hurts the most - I would recommend anyone to get them but warn you to watch with a tissue box near at hand - I did cry and so did my husband! Louie pointed out that Jesus said we will have trouble in this lifetime - and we do but he went on to point out that when the depths are at their deepest to look at the cross - he explained that when you look at the cross even if everything is falling apart you will realise afresh that Jesus died for you because He loves you....... tonight at the music practice we sang a song that has a line 'I stand forgiven at the cross.' It was hard not to weep all over again - He went to those lengths for you and for me and even though life is tough, even though this week has been an exhausting struggle, even though I have felt really low - noone can alter the fact that He loves me (even when it is hard to feel it!) indeed He went that far, to the cross for me!