Monday, 12 May 2008


I wonder if anyone else finds life the same as me - one week you can be on a real high, know a precious touch from God and the next feel so alone and that things seem so dark and you feel so alone and almost vacant.

This has been my repeated experience over the last month or so - really hit a low time and then God stretched out His hand and touched me afresh - precious tangible, awesome encounter and in that moment such a sense that everything was going to be alright, such a sense of the awesomeness of God. Then in the space of a week or so and things are really tough. My husband and I were supposed to go to an event on Sunday but for days before hand I felt so anxious over it - Sunday morning came and Malcolm and I talked for some time over it - when he told me that we didn't have to go I cried with relief. But in these days when so many things are a battle I receive e-mails from folks so helped by a book that I wrote 4 years ago - strange that in the struggles and the tears of today other folks on this planet has been encouraged by what we have been through. Yet I sit here and still weep.

I wonder if life will ever cease to be one extreme or another - is there a level of OK-ness that can be reached and then kept without mask or pretence? I wonder....................

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